Life with Three Kids, Age Five and Under

Real Motherhood, y’all

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We just entered the three children, age five and under “new normal” life. The baby is four-weeks-old. It is cray-cray. Here’s some little stories about the hard times and the good times of having three kids close in age! (PS Did I mention we bought a minivan the DAY BEFORE the baby arrived? Hee, hee!)

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You know what’s awesome about having a two-week-old newborn AND a toddler and five-year-old?
When I am SO TIRED after being up ALL NIGHT LONG with the baby, I finally lay the baby down for a second to pour the kids cereal….or lay the baby down for a nap and dash to grab something….and then the baby starts screaming. Like clockwork (as if I have no idea):

Two-year-old Esther comes bursting in with her big cheeks in my face: “BEE-BEE Hannah CWY-ING, MAMA!!!!! BEE-BEE Hannah CWY-ING, MAMA!!!!!

Me: I know, Esther. I know.

Samson yelling from across the house: “Maaaaaaamaaaaa! HANNAH’S CRYING AGAIN!!!!”

Me, covering my puffy eyes with my hands in desperation: “GUYS! I know, guys. I KNOOOOOOooooow!!!!”

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The next day Hannah was crying and everyone was trying to eat and I was starving (nursing makes me have the appitite of a high school football player.) Hannah was right next to us, laying in her bed crying and Samson said: “you need to get her mom!” (He was standing right by her)

I said: “oh Samson! I wish you could just pick her up and hold her for me!”

I think that is one of the hardest parts – I don’t have any older kids. It can only get better because they can ONLY GET BIGGER AND OLDER AND MORE HELPFUL, right? This is as hard as it gets, right? 😉

First time soloing it with three kids age five and under?
– Breakfast: cereal.
– Activity: watching lots of TV.
– Lunch: slice of deli meat, cheese and crackers.
– Productivity: nothing accomplished.
– End result: no one was harmed and everyone was fed.

Note wee babe in background

Note wee babe in background

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Nothing but hot, gourmet cooking here

That time you were so tired and moving so fast while the baby was sleeping that you attempted to put body lotion on your toothbrush instead of toothpaste

That time you were so tired and moving so fast while the baby was sleeping that you attempted to put body lotion on your toothbrush instead of toothpaste

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What do you do on a Saturday night at 7pm when your overtired, four-week-old baby won’t stop fussing? And your husband and five-year-old son are at a hockey game? And you don’t want to have to get everyone dressed and drag your toddler and baby somewhere to load and unload them out of the car??? Why, you load everyone in your SWEET minivan and go to Starbucks drive-thru, of course. The car drive puts the crying baby to sleep. The apple juice makes the barefoot, princess pajama toddler happy. I got to get out of the house AND got some espresso energy just in time for bedtime routine. I call that a win/win/win. Best $6 I spent all day.

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TODDLER AND NEWBORN COMBO PROBLEM:

The non-stop buckling queen

The non-stop buckling queen

Mamas of a toddler and newborn, does anyone else have this problem? The toddler loves to snap the infant carseat buckles together any chance she can get…so when you go to put the baby in the car seat, you have to unbuckle the buckles EVERY TIME before you can lay the baby in the car seat?!?! Kinda …funny, but kind of a hassle, too

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First time out driving WITH A FAMILY OF FIVE!

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(So strange to look back and see THREE children!!!)
Samson from the back seat: “Hey! We have as many people AS I AM OLD!”

Me, delighted: “Correct! (Dave, he’s so smart!)”

Samson: “And and and now there are more kids than adults!”

Dave, with eyebrows raised to me in fear: “Correct. More kids than parents.”

Samson: “And and and if we have another baby, they can sit here by me. But if we have ANOTHER baby after ‘dat, there is nowhere for the other baby to sit!”

Me: Samson, exactly how many more babies do you want?

Samson: I would like 100 babies.

You got it, buddy.

Want more stories like this? Order my new book Stop and Smell Your Children: Laugh and Enjoy the Little Years now on Amazon here or on my site here.

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