How we found out we were pregnant with baby number four!
“Honey!” I whispered, shaking Dave’s sleeping form in the dark room at 6:45 am. “HONEY! I just took a pregnancy test and there is a faint line. I think I might be pregnant. But I also think I don’t know.”
Dave, half-asleep, “Can we talk about this later?”
Later that morning I showed him a very faint pink line. Dave was suspicious. “Let’s give it some time and test again.”
Oh, ok. I tried to say casually.
I immediately called my sister sheepishly the next day. “Uh, I’ve never had this happen before. But I took a pregnancy test – I am a bit early to be testing – and there was a faint line. So…”
She gushed, “OH YOU ARE TOTALLY PREGNANT.”
Over the next week, I spent Samson’s college fund buying 50-million pregnancy tests. I broke all the rules that said to wait a few days before taking a new test. I took multiple tests each day. This was the first month we had decided “it would be ok if we got pregnant again” – so I was shocked.
I was in disbelief as the line darkened with time.
I finally showed Doubting Dave the legit test results with a maroon red pregnancy line. “Honey, we really are pregnant.” He smiled. “I can’t believe it.” Neither could I.
Because I had a miscarriage after Samson, my doctor had me come in at four weeks to do a HCG and progesterone blood test, in case I needed to supplement with progesterone to decrease miscarriage risk. Thankfully, everything came back perfect.
At eight weeks, I went in for my first OBGYN appointment and sonogram. Because of the last miscarriage where we saw a still baby still at the bottom of my uterus on a mounted screen, I never look at the screen until they say, “There’s the heartbeat.” I just intently study the face of the sonographer.
In this case, it was my dear OBGYN who has been just wonderful for our last three pregnancies. He’s always optimistic, upbeat and kind. Sure enough, he turned up that glorious regular fast “BUMP BUMP BUMP”. He looked from the screen over to me laying on the exam table, “There’s the heartbeat.”
I can never, ever take a strong heartbeat for granted again. I smiled so big my cheeks hurt.
The baby at eight-weeks looks like a little peanut with a flickering white heartbeat. I remember my days as an investigative journalist when I researched and watched the results of sonograms on abortion-minded clients at pregnancy help centers. They said often it was the sound of the heartbeat that changed their minds even more than the sonogram. It showed there was LIFE. A beating heart. And an abortion stopped that life.
As I pushed open the glass doors to leave my doctor’s office, my black and white sonogram pictures fluttered from my hand. I clutched them with joy on the elevator ride downstairs. LIFE!
TELLING THE FAMILY
I cannot tell you how delicious it is to tell little ones they will have a new little sibling. Or to watch your parents light up like a Christmas tree at the news of a grandbaby on the way. I could have pinched myself with joy watching Dave wrestle my plastic tub of maternity clothes down from the attic.
At moments like these, I make myself STOP with gratitude to God. I do not consider children as a normal part of adulthood. I do not consider parenthood an expected experience. Oh, no. Children – each child, each pregnancy – is a gift straight from the arms of our Heavenly Father to us.
And at moments, like the maternity plastic tub wrangling, I think how we never knew if I would use those clothes again. BUT GOD! GOD in His infinite mercy and grace has decided to bless us with another precious little life to enjoy! Another wanted, darling little arrow to our quiver.
And then I think, as I watch my husband pulling down that red plastic bin, of my precious friends that have struggled with infertility or repeat miscarriages. Those that long for babies, but do not have them. My heart breaks for them, and I silently thank God for His unmerited kindness in giving us this gift.
Morning sickness hit – as it has for all my other pregnancies – right at week six. Vomiting. All day nausea. Extreme food aversions. My doctor, at week four, wrote me five prescriptions for various morning sickness medications – all with maximum refill quantity. (I battle severe morning sickness). And even as I clutched my old morning sickness friend – the trusty white porcelain toilet in my bathroom – shaking, crying, vomiting… I could not help but think of how many women struggling with infertility would love to take my place. They would love to be vomiting with a healthy pregnancy.
Thank you, God, for this baby.
For the first time, we WILL find out the gender before the baby is born this Saturday at a Gender Reveal. I don’t know whether it is a girl or boy. Only my kind mother-in-love knows, who is putting on the party. But I do know that gender is a much bigger thing than just a “perfect” family or our preferred boy or girl. Oh, no – God has such bigger perspective than our futile human minds.
He knows each child’s perfect place in history. He knows each child’s future ministry. He knows each child’s future spouse. He knows the timing of their education, vocation and even THEIR future children. It is so much bigger than we parents thinking what would be “ideal.”
May we always rejoice in God’s perfect ideal for each of our families. And may we never, ever take for granted a pregnancy. Babies are a GIFT from God.
“Oh taste and see that the LORD is good!” Psam 34:8
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